This is another blog that I had written earlier. Wenchy (Area 51) had inquired about our views on fate and destiny, so I thought I'd just re blog this blog! I hope you like it Wenchy!
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I was watching this very intriguing documentary on Cable the other day. It was about how certain people escape death due to unknown reasons while others succumb due to unfortunate circumstances.

The documentary was about a massive plane crash. It told the story of how a husband and wife changed their seats and went forward to the mid section of the plane. The husband always sits next to the window, but in this instance the wife jumped and sat before he could. The couple took the plane instead of going by car, which they normally do. There was also a newly married couple going on their honeymoon.

The plane crashed due to a storm. It fell on top of a house, which belonged to an old couple. Now that day, the husband of the elderly couple, for some unknown reason wanted to leave the house and go and see his grand children, they almost never leave their house. The wife refused, but finally accepted. So they drove away, the husband hated driving, but that day he just felt he should go. ............................The plane crashed 'smack' into their house.

The newly married couple died, while the wife of the couple who left the rear seats and went to the mid section died. The husband who always takes the window seat, but did not this time around, survived, but was in a coma for 8 days. 37 out of the 54 people on board died.

The people who survived were at the back of the plane. The old couple saw their destroyed house on TV. I could only come to one conclusion after watching that documentary. It seems that if someone has to die, somehow or the other, that person will die, and if it isn't a person's  time, somehow or the other, the person will survive.

....................Strange, but intriguing never the less.

I think of my future, and I don't see any clarity, it's all blurry right now. I did have a dream and a plan once in my life. My dream used to be to become a doctor, practice in England and drive a sports car. It had to be a Japanese sports car (always felt that they had better value for money). The dream also consisted of my dream girl, and maybe two kids.

But things change as you go through life, certain dreams become unattainable. My dream of doing medicine expired some time ago. Right now I'm at the doorstep of finishing my degree in Business Administration. Time to get a job, but where? Where do I go from here? I never saw myself as a businessman all my life, but I'm slowly getting used to that thought. I can still go to England, but I don't know when I should do that. Should I work here for now? Should I go there immediately? Should I find a girl here, or should I chance it and go there first?

Every day goes by with me wondering what would happen to me, where I would end up, whether I would make wrong decisions that I might regret one day, whether I would ever find a girl I would be in love with and would be loved by in return? I did find that person and lose her a long time ago, never knew that it would be so hard to love again. Can lightening strike twice? Most importantly should it? Would I ever live long enough and remain healthy to have a family? These days people seem to be dropping by the way side with various complications even while they are young. Somehow nothing seems as certain as it did in the past. You can't plan too far ahead, because it does not make practical sense anymore, life just changes so fast. Is marriage for the sake of marrying ever an option thats should be contemplated? Should you marry for anything other than love? Should people ever consider marrying their best friend?

The problem with life is there aren't many possibilities to back track  after a wrong deed is done, and start with a clean slate. Life doesn't give you those luxuries, it makes sure that you live to regret and remember your 'big' mistakes. While it could be argued that 'remembering' helps one learn from their mistakes, it also has the effect of making people especially risk averse, which could also prevent them from taking future chances in life.

I'm aware that no one said life is easy. 'Hard' I can manage, but the eternal complexity and ambiguity is the hardest part to deal with.